Leading Thoughts

IDEAS shared have the power to expand perspectives, change thinking, and move lives. Here are two ideas for the curious mind to engage with:

I.

Amelia Dunlop on elevating the human experience:

“Elevating the human experience is about acknowledging intrinsic worth as a human and nurturing growth through love. Sometimes the person we need to see most worthy of love is ourselves. Sometimes it is another person. Sometimes it is a group of people who have been unseen.”

Source: Elevating the Human Experience: Three Paths to Love and Worth at Work

II.

John Parker Stewart and Daniel J. Stewart on understanding effective leadership is something you learn as you go along:

“One of our wonderful colleagues, John Zorbini, often said that if leadership were a car, you would think it must be a classic red Ferrari with the way we traditionally talk about it—or even the way we all think to ourselves about it. We sometimes put the idea of leadership on a pedestal and speak about it reverently. It’s the idea that when you become a leader, you are blessed with instant knowledge, judgment, and prestige.
“But, Zorbini pointed out, if leadership really were a car, it would be a beat-up old truck. It would have dents and dings. Maybe the side panels would be different colors and the interior worn out, but it would have four wheels, move, and get the job done. It’s functional, but not glamourous, and the messiness of learning to lead is visible.”

Source: LEAD NOW!: A Personal Leadership Coaching Guide for Results-Driven Leaders

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Look for these ideas every Thursday on the Leading Blog. Find more ideas on the LeadingThoughts index.

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Leading Thoughts Whats New in Leadership Books

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If you are struggling to create clarity in your life then I have created the Addicted2Success academy to support you in getting crystal clear on your next moves in life. Join my mentorship in The Addicted2Success Academy here. The only PROVEN METHOD in the world that allows ANYONE to effortlessly ELEVATE the 8-KEY AREAS of life, is finally being passed down… EXCLUSIVELY, in this Academy.

 

Apollonia Ponti is a Dating & Relationship Coach for men. She specializes in teaching men to understand what women want, master their attraction skills, and build their confidence in dating or a relationship.

In this Addicted2Success Podcast episode Apollonia shares how you can show up powerfully in Dating and Relationships.

Here is the audio of the podcast:

 

Mindset #1 You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone

You have clarity in your life about who you are as a person and if you are not going to be desired as a man by a particular person, then you know there is someone else that will desire you. Now I’m not saying that you’re going to be disrespectful and come off harsh and really, really aggressive, but what I do mean is that you just hold your power. You know who you are and you don’t have to prove yourself or you don’t have to say things to get people to like you.

You don’t have to act in a particular way for someone to like you. You know that you showing up as you will be the way people will see you and if they don’t like you, no big deal. You like you and that’s what matters.

 

Mindset #2 You’re not attached to an outcome, you know that everything will work out, and if it doesn’t, you will be okay

If you go a little bit deeper in this, this means that you’re okay with being alone, right? This means that you, alone, are okay because a lot of times in relationships a lot of people seek validation from another. They seek validation that they are loved, that they are enough but you’re the only person that needs to see yourself as enough to attract that. That’s what I’m saying. Mindset number two is not attached to a specific outcome.

If you like a girl and she’s an amazing girl and you think this is going great blah blah blah, you’re okay if it works out and you’re okay if it doesn’t work out. It’s just the simple act of you not putting pressure because if you put pressure it shows neediness, insecurity, and attachment.

 

Mindset #3 You look at things as what value can I offer someone or something instead of what can I get out of this because you have a mindset that you know the more that I give the more that I’m going to receive

Now it’s not that you’re saying that you’re going to give someone a piece of you or your time if they’re not going to be respectful or receiving towards it, but you know that you don’t have this attitude that you’re just like, “Okay, what are you giving me? I’m here because you need to be here and you’re giving me something because my time is valuable to me.” No.

Your time is valuable to you, yes, but this is from a different perspective and mindset. You’re like, “Okay, how can I add value to you in your life?” Because you know you’re capable of meeting your own needs and being there for others. It’s less selfish. This comes off so attractive to women and it shows too that you are powerful and that you hold your own pretty well.

 

Mindset #4 You’re unapologetically honest

I don’t mean that you’re just going to point out and say things like you look fat in that dress or anything like that but you’re going to obviously be honest and open about your own opinions. Women are so attracted to this and I talk about this so much because I just want to get it ingrained in your head. You don’t want to always agree with a woman because one, you’ll fall into friend zone pretty easily when that happens, and two, women test men a lot when it comes to this.

When you’re open and you’re honest about how you feel or have your own opinion about a specific topic that the both of you are talking about, it shows that you are just you showing up for you and not trying to impress her because you are enough and that’s what is impressive to a woman.

 

Mindset #5 You value your time so this means you also want to see if she’s worth it

There is a difference here. What I mean in value your time is you take your time with her to see if she is worth it for you. A lot of times men fall into just the visual of the woman. Like oh my gosh, she has a nice body, she’s beautiful, she’s this, she’s that, which I’m not saying to dismiss, but what I am saying is understand that those women can be a little bit more intriguing to you when you’re really trying to get to know her on an emotional level, what she has to offer you and who she is as a person if she’s worth a commitment as well.

Instead of just seeing her beauty and thinking, “This one!” This is the mindset you want to always have: no matter how beautiful the woman is or how great the woman is, you have to see if she’s worth it for you to invest your time in and the same goes vice versa. A woman of value is deciding the same thing; are you the type of person she wants to make a commitment to as well.

 

Mindset #6 You show up powerfully in your own skin

What I mean by this is you just know yourself. I mean I talk about this in mindset number one and mindset number two, but when you show up in your own skin, you walk into places like a lounge or a restaurant or wherever you are, and your chin is up, shoulders are back, and you just confidently know who you are. Women can sense this when a man just knows who he is and he owns it and he’s just powerful in who he is. It shows in how you present yourself.

How do you become powerful? Well, you have to be focused on something that is thriving in your life and you can read my article on how to find your purpose to discover some ideas on how to find your purpose and how you give back. This is significant to your everyday world when it comes to attraction.

 

Mindset #7 You’re compassionate but you don’t get defensive

There are so many men that I know that get very low on patience. They take automatic offense to something as though if a woman says something she’s being disrespectful and he points fingers back and he automatically gets offended as though he has to defend himself and the world is all against him. This is not compassion. What this actually does to a woman in her mind is it kills attraction all the time. I mean from day one. It’s a huge red flag for a woman. I bring this up because this has happened a lot in coaching sessions and men that I’ve talked to, they’re just like, “I just don’t have patience. I just don’t have the time, blah blah blah blah blah,” but they hold this aspect of not having compassion but also not knowing how to just breathe, take a moment and be like, “All right.

This has nothing to do with me. What’s the worst thing possible that can come out of this? Let me just open this up for discussion,” instead of just pointing fingers and getting so frustrated to the point where you can hear it in their tone. You can see it in their physical being and you can hear the way that they come off and their expressions. Everything changes, their demeanor, their energy, everything.

This is huge in regards to the mindset of a man. You don’t want to let anybody else control your emotions. You are the one that’s in control of your own emotions, right? Meaning, okay someone says something to you to piss you off. You have a choice! You have a choice to either get angry or just look at him and smile and be like, “Damn. You’re having a bad day.” Right? Because of the fact that when you hold your own, it shows so much more confidence that you’re just not reacting and you’re just accepting it and you’re just like, “You’re not going to get to me,” because you control yourself. You control you.

Reacting and taking everything personally can kill attraction instantly. It comes off as unsafe. And that is huge for women, they need to know they can be safe with you. It is your choice in how you choose to respond to the things around you.

 

Mindset #8 You embrace failures with strength and confidence

We all mistakes in life but you embrace these mistakes and ask yourself how can I be better, what can I learn from this and what would I choose to improve. Let me respond to my mistakes and see how I can fix this so it doesn’t happen again. You don’t get down on yourself and start punishing yourself like, “Oh, you’re not a good guy, you’re horrible, no woman is going to like you. You don’t deserve love.” You don’t say those things to yourself.

When you’re in the dumps you’re like, “Okay fine. I messed up but how am I going to improve with this and how am I going to move forward?” You take the proactive notions and you build the skills so you don’t have this happen to you again.

Read more: addicted2success.com

41 Enlightening Bob Marley Quotes

Bob Marley is an internationally respected musician, activist, and philanthropist. Hailing from Jamaica, his music has influenced both minds and revolutions around the world. Much of his wisdom can be found in the lyrics of his songs. Timeless, these words will resonate within young people for generations to come.

Here are 41 of Bob Marley’s most powerful words of wisdom:

1. “I don’t believe in death, neither in flesh nor in spirit.” – Bob Marley

2. “When one door is closed, don’t you know, another is open.” – Bob Marley

3. “Love the life you live. live the life you love.” – Bob Marley

“Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you riding through the ruts, don’t complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don’t bury your thoughts.” – Bob Marley

“One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain.” – Bob Marley

“Beginnings are usually scary, and endings are usually sad, but its everything in between that makes it all worth living.” – Bob Marley

“Don’t bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality.” – Bob Marley

“Don’t complicate your mind.” – Bob Marley

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” – Bob Marley

“Better to die fighting for freedom than be a prisoner all the days of your life.” – Bob Marley

“Don’t gain the world and lose your soul, wisdom is better than silver or gold…” – Bob Marley

“The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.” – Bob Marley

“It’s your own conscience that is gonna remind you; that it’s your heart and nobody else’s that is gonna judge.” – Bob Marley

“Judge not, before you judge yourself. Judge not, if you’re not ready for judgment.” – Bob Marley

“Man is a universe within himself.” – Bob Marley

“Your life is worth much more than gold.” – Bob Marley

“Judge not, before you judge yourself.” – Bob Marley

“Don’t trust people whose feelings change with time. Trust people whose feelings remain the same, even when the time” – Bob Marley

“You just can’t live in that negative way….. make way for the positive day.” – Bob Marley

“I no have education. I have inspiration. If I was educated I would be a damn fool.” – Bob Marley

“Just because you are happy it does not mean that the day is perfect but that you have looked beyond its imperfections.” – Bob Marley

“Road of life is rocky and you may stumble too, so while you talk about me, someone else is judging you.” – Bob Marley

“Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you’re living?” – Bob Marley

“Don’t worry about a thing, ’cause every little thing gonna be all right.” – Bob Marley

“In this bright future you can’t forget your past.” – Bob Marley

“In the abundance of water a fool is thirsty.” – Bob Marley

“One love, one heart . . . Let’s get together and feel all right” – Bob Marley

“As a man sow, shall he reap. and I know that talk is cheap. But the heat of the battle is as sweet as the victory.” – Bob Marley

“True friends are like stars; you can only recognize them when it’s dark around you.” – Bob Marley

“Money is numbers and numbers never end. If it takes money to be happy, your search for happiness will never end.” – Bob Marley

“You never know how strong you are, until being strong is your only choice.” – Bob Marley

“Love, friendship, laughter… Some of the best things in life really are free.” – Bob Marley

“The most beautiful things are not perfect, they are special” – Bob Marley

“Live for yourself and you will live in vain; Live for others, and you will live again.”- Bob Marley

“We got to fight the system, because God never made no difference between black, white, blue, pink or green. People is people, y’know. That’s the message we try to spread.”- Bob Marley

“God create you to be free. Free up yourself, otherwise you worthless. ”- Bob Marley

“One love, one heart. Let’s get together and feel all right.”- Bob Marley

“Light up the darkness. ”- Bob Marley

“The people who were trying to make this world worse are not taking the day off. Why should I?”- Bob Marley

“Overcome the devils with a thing called love.””- Bob Marley

“Though the road’s been rocky, it sure feels good to me.”- Bob Marley

Which quote resonated with you the most?  Comment below!

Read more: addicted2success.com

If there were one big piece of advice that could change your life dramatically it would be to keep your inner circle top notch. We have all heard the saying, “Whom you hang around is who you become,” along with, “You are the average of the five people you hang around the most.” Then the question remains; “How do we pick our inner circle?” What is the process for choosing the people you want to spend the most time with?

Here are three key principles to consider when allowing others into your inner circle:
1. Loyalty

I would have to say that loyalty is a huge key factor for your inner circle. Loyalty and trust is paramount to your life overall as a matter of fact. The thing about loyalty is that it can’t be taught or bought, it is something that comes from within yourself and others.

A couple questions I ponder are “Is this a person I know I can count on? Is this a person who can be trusted to keep conversations between us? Is this a person I can count on to come to the inner circle if they have problems or do they go outside of that sacred understanding and trust?”

While there are a plenty of questions you can reflect on when determining someone’s loyalty to the inner circle, sometimes you just have to give him or her the benefit of the doubt and not judge anyone too hastily.

Life is too short to judge others when we are not perfect either. Eventually the lack of loyalty and trust ALWAYS gets exposed.

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” – Oprah Winfrey

2. Communication

Communication is crucial to the success of your inner circle. Without good, effective, and transparent communication, your inner circle will be torn apart and there will be a lack of growth. Your inner circle must be comfortable enough and trust each other enough to be open with one another. As a business coach within my mentor’s mastermind group, I have learned the importance of effective and open communication.

How can you really expect your team to grow or yourself to grow if there isn’t transparency? How can you expect you and your inner circle to grow if nobody is helping each other out? Isn’t that the goal of the inner circle; to grow and take over the world together? So if you have a strong desire to keep your inner circle on point, encourage and implement transparent and open communication.

3. Vision

I will always remember what my mentor once told me, “Without vision, the people will perish.” While this quote may come from a religious origin, we can all agree that it is true, right? Without vision, how do you expect your inner circle to grow? How do you expect to grow? To give a very blunt truth, if there is lack of vision, there is no direction or actions to even grow.

Then you must ask yourself, “Do I really want to be around others who do not have a vision for their life?” A great way to help your team grow their vision and ambition is through personal development. It could be reading books, contribution to others, and listening to audios. When you and your team work on their personal growth, you are guaranteed to see production and increase results.

“It is better to be alone than in bad company.” – George Washington

All in all ladies and gentleman, bottom line is growth. I have to admit that I have had a couple experiences where the people within my inner circle were not up to par and didn’t align with the rest of the team’s values. However, once I met my mentor, I learned from him how to build inner circles and how to vet out those that don’t align with your values.

So I encourage you all to always remember your inner circle is paramount when it comes to the growth of your business and life overall. While there may be many quality characteristics to have in your inner circle, I encourage you to always remember that your team is not a inner circle without loyalty, effective and transparent communication, and a vision for growth.

What are some qualities you look for in a friend? Let us know in the comments below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

Read more: addicted2success.com