Have you watched Suits yet? Anyone who has watched this fascinating and intriguing American TV series is obsessed with the character of Harvey Specter. His enchanting personality, witty outlook, and intrepid attitude, leave a gravitating influence on the audience. If there is a fictional character people would want to impersonate, it would be Harvey Specter. Suits is an acclaimed TV series with an IMDb rating of 8.5, which is stellar. A larger part of the show’s profound success can be attributed to the impression Harvey Specter leaves on every mind.

Here are 7 lessons on success we can learn from Harvey Specter:

1. It all starts with appearance 

It may seem like an unpopular opinion, but dressing sense has a lot to do with success. The way you dress defines your confidence and your zeal to win. In Suits, Harvey is always seen in the finest tailored suits. Of course, that is where the name of the TV series comes from. Harvey is always dressed as an accomplished gentleman. Also, he has excellent people skills to make the perfect first impression. 

How you present yourself and conduct yourself in front of others is critical to their perception of you. So, Harvey teaches us that dressing exquisitely while meeting people is no less than a success mantra. Hence, have your best outfits always ready to facilitate your pursuit of success. Because Harvey often tells Michael Ross that the first impression is the last!

2. No detail is too small 

There is one thing that remains common in every episode of Suits. Harvey always stays one step ahead of his competitors. This is because Harvey does not like to ignore any detail, no matter massive or menial. He inspires us not to be complacent and to not be over the top flamboyant. Of course, he has a lot of flamboyance and vanity, but that does not make him ignorant. He pays attention to all details and new facts to scrutinize every aspect. He believes in staying informed on the ins and outs of people trying to outsmart him. Therefore, you should not have that ‘I know it all’ attitude in life. If you have to be successful, you have to be aware and vigilant.

3. The romanticization of risks is paramount

In a famous dialogue from the show, Harvey Says, “That’s the difference between you and me, you wanna lose small, and I wanna win big.” This has a deep life lesson inscribed in it. The crux is that you cannot enlarge your victories until you limit yourself to minimizing the losses. Success does not start with an idea. The pursuit of success begins when you decide to take risks associated with an idea. It is Harvey’s risk-taking ability that defines his winning attitude. Harvey knows how to win the unwinnable because he rewrites the rules. You have to make your own fortune and do whatever it takes. Conviction to risk it is the key! Harvey is the prodigy of what top performers do to win.

4. Staying poised in crisis is a winning strategy 

Throughout the series, you will never see Harvey Specter freaking out. This is because he has profuse self-belief to face every challenge. Besides, he always has a plan B, and he prepares well for all vulnerabilities. He charmingly keeps all causes of stress at bay. People often tend to get nervous in situations that test their character. Out of this nervousness, they cripple their own abilities and potential. 

But Harvey Specter shows us how to have the best attitude amid the odds. He is always chilled out and smiling no matter how hard it gets. This is a character trait of someone who backs his ability a lot. Do you back yourself to overcome insurmountable odds? Explore yourself, realize your strengths and develop a temperament like him. Harvey shows us how to maintain the perfect relationship between money and mental health. Poise can be a competitive advantage, after all!

“Win a no win situation by rewriting the rules.” – Harvey Specter

5. Dreams demand action 

Of course, you would have dreams but do you have goals? Or do you make an effort to translate your dreams into goals? In one of the arguments in the show, Harvey says, “I do not have dreams; I have goals.” Now you see how influential the power of goals is. We might forget our dreams someday, but we do not forget our goals. 

Having said that, unless your dreams turn into goals, they may be useless. This is the simple reason why every dreamer is not an achiever. Harvey has a staunch belief in aims and objectives, and that is what makes him so successful. The lawyer in him and the person in him are exemplary, given how they prioritize their ambitions.

6. Win the battle and not the battleground 

Harvey knows how to win a no-win situation, and that is a rare trait to have. People who have watched Suits will already know that Harvey likes to settle most of his lawsuits outside the court. He believes in winning the battle even before it goes to the battleground. It is obvious that it saves a lot of time and effort. So, for all those who are big fans of procrastination, this is a lesson for them to learn. To attain success and recognition, you need to act in time and eliminate escalations. If you do it the Harvey way, you can make victory a beloved friend. Managing time and resources in an effective way is crucial to success.

7. Fixing problems is far better than complaining about them 

If you are working on something, your job is to complete it and fix the loose ends. You cannot keep cribbing about the problems you are facing to complete the task. You volunteered for the task, or you self-assigned a task to yourself because you are capable enough. Others do not have the time to listen to your complaints, and you do not have much time to waste. 

This is where a lot of people miss the bus. They keep waiting for miracles to fix things. In this large amount of time they waste, others take the lead. But you have to fend for yourself and fix your own problems. If you are going to enjoy the credit of the achievement all by yourself, why not fix the issues on your own? 

To wrap up, first, you need to start watching Suits if you have not watched it yet. Once you do, you will, by default, feel the urge to learn from Harvey’s cunning and positive character. Besides, if you are an aspiring lawyer, Harvey can be a perfect epitome for you. The charm with which he expresses meaningful learnings of life and success is astonishing. He keeps it simple, uncomplicated and pays more heed to triumphs than fearing losses. He may be a fictional character at the end of the day, but we can always learn a few tricks from his illustrious aura. Living life the Harvey Specter way can be a way to success!

Read more: addicted2success.com

Do you consider yourself one of the people with little confidence in themselves? Did life and situations make you lose faith in yourself? Do you still carry on your back the criticism of others or their bad treatment of you? If your answer is yes, then you came to the right place.

Self-confidence means that your inner world is safe, that you believe in your abilities to achieve success in life, and that you believe in your unique qualities and the way you judge things. And confidence is like a muscle that one can gain and develop over time. But, what does it take to be confident? Do you wake up one day and become more toned and energetic? What are the characteristics of confident people?

Here are 7 qualities of confident people:

1. Confident people are just natural people

Confident people show their true personality and identity to the world, indifferent to others’ opinions, and ignore negative comments. They are comfortable with who they are, love themselves, constantly encourage themselves, and freely express their views. In addition, they have high self-esteem and consider the person in the mirror to be their only competitor and do not belittle others. They are real people and do not try to play roles and live their lives on their own terms. So learn from everyone, but don’t copy anything and just be yourself.

2. Confident people are friends of themselves

They are people who are aware and connected to their inner self, live in the moment, do not make judgments, forgive themselves, and know that perfection is impossible so they accept themselves and enjoy spending time alone. They also believe positive beliefs about themselves, develop their abilities, trust their magic, and take responsibility for what they are and what they do. They pursue their goals with enthusiasm and do not try to prove anything to anyone and consider living happily one of their rights and celebrate their achievements. When we’re honest with ourselves, whatever is toxic and stressful simply falls.

“You have to expect things of yourself before you can do them.” – Michael Jordan

3. Confident people do things they love

When we do something we love, we aren’t just happy, we are also very strong! These people spend their time in what they love to do, work in jobs that allow them to grow and thrive, have high expectations of what they can achieve, and follow their passions. The lack of self-confidence is overcome not only by faith but by action. It is a lack, not of certainty, but a lack of effort. Often times we are sure that we cannot before we give ourselves a fair chance, and they give themselves this opportunity to not only raise their potential but for exploration, adventure and fun as well. You have to be at your best when things are at their worst.

4. Confident people do things with a purpose

Everything these people do is dedicated to a purpose. They don’t do things randomly or without something on their mind. Because they believe in the power of action and the power of choice, they also believe in the power of purpose, so nothing is in vain, and this is the best way to increase effectiveness in whatever we do.

Walk with purpose. Approach life with purpose, enter a room with purpose, and it’s just a matter of time before people are coming over and talking to you. The first rule for advancement and professionalism in any business is the ability to communicate effectively, which is the ability to deal in a way that increases your influence or influence between them.

5. Confident people know their worth

If you think you don’t deserve anything, you won’t get it. These people believe in their value, are well aware of it, and do not give too much weight to be evaluated by others. Emphasizing and relying on what others demand makes a person a prisoner for their opinions. So these people understand that their value is what they give themselves, and they do not wake up in the morning to impress others. When you believe in yourself, others will believe in you, too

6. Confident people are not afraid to say no

Do you find it difficult to say no? As social beings, we are driven to maintain our relationship and it can be difficult to pick, even if this is the right thing for us. Ironically, those who lack self-confidence are often the ones who find it difficult to say no. Have you ever wondered why it was so easy to be rejected when you were a little kid and why it is so difficult now? What happened?

Well as children, we learned that saying no was an impolite or inappropriate behavior. If you said no to your mother, father, teacher, uncle, grandparents, etc., then you were definitely considered rude, and you may have been told that saying no was a forbidden thing. Now that we are all adults, we are becoming more mature and capable of making our own choices, as well as knowing the difference between right and wrong. So a word should not be out of bounds but rather something that we decide upon ourselves based on our own judgment. Don’t hold back just to keep the peace. Defending yourself builds self-confidence and self-esteem, so if you want to say no, be firm and direct.

“Confidence comes from discipline and training.” – Robert Kiyosaki

7. Confident people are mature and constantly learning

The limits of your life are the limits of your thinking. As the saying goes, there are no foreign lands. It’s the traveler only who is foreign hence always be ready to think outside the box and trying out what life offers. To become what we are capable of becoming is the only end of life.

Go beyond boundaries and enjoy the freedom of exploring your mind. Great innovators and past inventors went beyond normal thinking to critiquing occurrences. If you think you are capable of something, most of the time you will maneuver around and achieve it but if you tell your mind that you can’t achieve a goal, failure always pops up.

A positive attitude and an optimistic mind determine the extent of your capabilities. Never devalue the power of thoughts as they are highly influential in shaping our very lives.Everyone has their own measure of success. Don’t ever stop until you reach yours. Once you obtain your personal best, your confidence will soar within. Then, you will find yourself pursuing even more than you ever thought possible before.

Read more: addicted2success.com

Ever heard of the popular words, ‘comparison is the thief of joy’? This phrase couldn’t be more accurate. Comparing yourself to others around you will not only kill your happiness, but also affect your career, confidence, and even self-esteem.

The comparison habit is not easy to detect by just looking at a person. However, lots of people struggle from it. It starts manifesting itself as soon as you begin making progress. You shift from focusing on yourself to looking at what others have achieved or are doing. And what was once new and great becomes difficult and unexciting. Comparison is a trap that many of us get into without knowing. But with these tips, you can overcome it.

What Is the Comparison Trap?

Desiring better things than you currently have is okay. However, when you want to have a better house, better shape, or a better job than one of your colleagues, family member, or colleague, then you’ve most likely fallen into the comparison trap. The comparison trap is when you are unhappy with what you have because it does not measure up to what other people around you have. The several types are:

Talent. It happens when you compare your abilities to another person’s gifts. Therefore, you don’t notice your uniqueness and get disappointed when you can’t do what another person can do.
Financial resources. This is where you start comparing yourself to others in terms of financial capabilities.
Career comparison. Here you compare your success to someone who has been in the industry for more years and is, therefore, more successful. Or a person who has just started their career and has achieved more than you.
Social influence. Involves comparing yourself to someone who has more friends, followers, or subscribers online.
Personal stories or journeys. This is where you feel inferior to someone else because their personal or career story is more exciting or inspiring.

Comparison at work wastes your time, lowers your self-esteem, distracts you from what’s essential, and breeds resentment. Read on to know how to beat it.

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others and Become Self-Aware

The key to stopping self-destructive thoughts is to figure out where they stem from. When comparison feelings creep in, find out what triggers them. Do you feel this way when you see your acquaintances succeeding faster than you? Are these successes about careers, romantic life, or academic accomplishments? What is the cause of the problem exactly? While these questions may be hard or painful to ask yourself, knowing why you feel the way you do can help you to identify the right actions to beat the comparison trap.

1. Keep Yourself and Your Social Media in Check

Social media is one of the most popular uses of the internet. According to Pew Research, about 74% of Facebook users log on to the site daily, and 51% several times a day. Among young adults (18-29 years) on social media, 77% said they used Snapchat daily, and 76% used Instagram every day.

But social media is a culprit of comparison and envy because everyone shares the best parts of their lives. Few, if any, will share their hardships, struggles, disappointments, or painful aspects of their routine. So, you can easily get sucked into other peoples’ lavish lives and start feeling resentful because your life isn’t as eventful and luxurious as theirs.

If you are always feeling awful when you log in to your Facebook, Snapchat, or Instagram, it’s time to switch up your feed. Unfriend or stop following people that make you feel inadequate to overcome social media comparison. Leave groups that contribute to your making comparisons. And change your advertisement setting so that you don’t get suggestions for things that make you feel under accomplished or unworthy. If you use it in the right way and limit your time on it, social media can contribute positively to your life.

2. Evaluate Current Individuality Against Your Past Self

When you constantly compare yourself to others, you will always feel like a failure. So, if you have to compare, the only person you should be comparing yourself to is yourself. That’s right, if you want to know if you are doing great today, compare yourself to who you were yesterday. Think about where you are now and where you were a year, a month, or a week ago.

Measuring your accomplishments to those of others isn’t positive. The only person it’s fair to compare yourself with is yourself. Have you achieved what you wanted to six months ago? Are you an improved version of your five years ago self? When you stop comparing yourself to others, you’ll feel more content with your life.

3. Be Empathetic Towards Others

The person you envy also has struggles, setbacks, and insecurities. You just don’t see them. See, you know yourself inside out (strengths, weaknesses, everything), but when it comes to other people, you only see things on the surface. By practicing empathy, you feel and understand what another person feels from his or her point of view.

Empathy is an essential quality even at the workplace, with 96% of employers saying that it is a vital employee attribute. Remember, unless you are the other person’s confidant, you can’t judge his or her life by just your outward view. So, appreciate that everyone’s life is complicated and don’t compare yourself to others.

4. Set Rewards for Your Accomplishments

Comparing your life to others prevents you from feeling the happiness and pride of success. The comparison trap makes you feel like your accomplishments are less worthy than someone else’s. Encourage and motivate yourself by rewarding your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Goals are achieved one step at a time. And rewarding your milestones can help keep you on the right course. In the end, what other people accomplish will not matter when your mind is fixed on a prize.

All that said, remember that gauging yourself with other people will always make you feel like you do not measure up. Create a clear vision of who and where you would like to be and set goals that will lead you there. Keep working towards your goals, and you will soon reach where you want to be.

Read more: addicted2success.com

When
you’re the leader, you have to keep things moving. To avoid being the
bottleneck that slows your team’s work to a crawl, you need to make decisions
on a timely basis. In a fast-paced environment, it can be hard to gather all
the information you’d like to have when making important decisions. That can
definitely affect your confidence in making the tough calls.

The
fact is that no one ever has one hundred percent of the information they’d like
to have when making important decisions. There are just too many variables and unknowns.
If you’re waiting for all the information, you’ll never make a decision. Making
the call with a sense of grounded confidence is an essential component of
successfully leading at the next level.

Here,
then, are three ways to build your confidence in making timely decisions.

First,
prep and learn. What I mean by that is start doing the homework you need to do
to prepare yourself for decision making. Learn all you can about your operating
environment. To do that, conduct discovery conversations with knowledgeable
colleagues. Talk with them about the patterns they’re seeing in your
competitive space. Ask them to share the criteria they consider when they’re
making important decisions. Read and absorb all you can about your field. Pay
special attention to real life case studies of key decisions and how they
played out. Take time to step back and connect the dots among the different
insights you’re gleaning from your reading and conversations.

Second,
test and learn. There are very few decisions – almost none really – where you
have to game out the next 100 steps. Most decisions are about identifying next
steps. As much as possible, frame those decisions in a way that allows you to
test and learn while you move forward. If you make meaningful but incremental
next step decisions you usually won’t get extended so far out on a limb that
you can’t course correct after implementation.

Third, trust your gut. Even if this is the biggest decision you’ve made so far, this isn’t your first rodeo. There’s a reason you’re here and are making the tough calls. You’ve had a track record of success and the people who selected you for this role view that past performance as a predictor of your future performance. You’ve made other challenging decisions in the past even if they weren’t the same decisions you’re making today. Since you’ve developed some good judgment along the way, you have a reason to trust your gut now. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t prep and learn or test and learn. It does mean that you should believe you’ve got this.

For more ideas on how to build your confidence in making timely decisions, check out chapter two of The Next Level – Pick up confidence in your presence; Let go of doubt in how you contribute.

If you liked what you read here, subscribe here to get my latest ideas on how to lead and live at your best.

Read more: eblingroup.com

We’ve all heard it before, confidence is everything. Those that seem to have it, have it all. They, themselves, are not necessarily perfect human beings, but they seemingly have the charisma to attract whatever they want in life.

I remember way back in middle school during those awkward years looking at some of the popular kids questioning what they had that I didn’t. Were they just amazing at sports or were they cool since they wore the coolest designer clothes? What was it that they had that others didn’t?

I thought about it and came to the conclusion that they really weren’t any better than anyone else. They simply possessed the “I know I’ve got it” factor. They walked around with a certain swagger. For what reason you might ask? I’m not entirely sure. But, I realized people like them – that look like they have it all – all seem to have confidence.

So, I figured confidence must be the secret sauce to attracting good things in life. Look at some of the most successful people in this world – They all seemed to have confidence even when others didn’t believe in them. While some people might hypothesize confidence only comes as a result of excelling in certain areas, I decided that confidence was going to come first. I figured if I can be self-assured, I’ll simply attract good things in life.

So from then on, confidence was going to be my thing. No questions – From standing up straight to speaking with certainty, I decided I would learn everything I could about confidence so that it would become part of my very identity.

Here are the 3 types of confidence one can have:
1. Self-Centered Confidence

We’ve all seen what I like to call self-centered confidence or just straight cockiness. This level of self-praise is a bit nauseating for everyone around that person. It’s a result of self-obsession. Basically, the world revolves around this person, so when things are going well, they are cocky and when things are not going their way, they are secretly insecure. This type of confidence is unwarranted because it assumes “I’m better than you” for no reason. In my book, no one’s better than me and I’m no better than anyone else.

“At the end of the day, the king & the pawn go in the same box.” – Italian Proverb

2. Perfection-Seeking Confidence

The next type of confidence is what I like to call Perfection-seeking confidence. The thought here is that if I perform in all of these areas, then I will be confident. This is exactly what I subscribed to in middle school. I figured, if I work really hard in all these areas and simply exemplify confidence, I will in turn be unshakeable.

You see this type plastered all over the internet these days – There is so much messaging out there about independent women or guys that hustle like no other. Don’t get me wrong – I’ve always been inspired by girl power. I dreamt about becoming a career woman who made things happen.

But, what about those times when you’re stuck in a job you don’t like? Can you still label yourself as an independent, powerful woman then? How does that affect your identity? You need a different kind of confidence that will be there not only when you’re doing well, but also when you’re at your worst.

3. Faith-filled Confidence

This brings me to the last and ultimate kind of confidence. Faith-filled confidence, which is not dependent on outside circumstances, but an underlying faith that tomorrow can be better than today through hard work and grit. This is the type of confidence that brings you peace in understanding that you might not have it all together today, but you trust that you have the values to get you there.

This is the type that might say, “Hey I might currently suck at this particular skill, but I know I’ll get there eventually.” It brings you peace. It’s the type of confidence that can carry you when the going gets tough. It’s not focused on yourself, but a belief that whether through friends, family, God or the good of this world, everything will eventually be all right. It’s saying, “Like wine, I’ll get better with time.”

“It is confidence in our bodies, minds and spirits that allows us to keep looking for new adventures.” – Oprah Winfrey

In all, not all confidence is created equal. There are various types, but not all of them will take you where you need to be. So ask yourself – which type of confidence are you seeking? Are you seeking the kind that places yourself at the forefront or are you seeking an inner peace type of confidence that trusts in the good of tomorrow beyond yourself? This will make all the difference. 

Read more: addicted2success.com

You follow successful people online. You feel inspired to see their growth, achievements, and accomplishments. But sometimes, you may feel intimidated when you look into your own life. You follow their morning rituals, daily habits, nighttime routines, and so on but you don’t get the same results as they do. Then you may doubt yourself, feel unworthy or hopeless about your own life situation.

You wonder  what am I missing? What’s the real secret to their success? How do they keep on growing while I keep struggling? The secret to their success is that they are big-time failures. They go through gazillions of failures before they show up as a “success” in front of you. But you’ve probably heard that before. You already know you need to fail more to succeed.

The problem is that we keep associating our failures with being a failure in life. That’s because we take failures personally and our ego doesn’t like failures. But there’s a simple solution to that.

Facing Failures Without The Hurt

When you were a child, you were always in play mode. If you failed, you tried again like nothing happened. You kept on trying without thinking of failure as a shame. Then, school and society conditioned you to avoid failure at all cost. Since then, every time you failed, you felt like a loser.

“Failure is a detour not a dead-end street.” – Zig Ziglar

Let’s break this negative pattern immediately . Stop being so serious. Give yourself permission to fail without feeling dirty. Start playing again and let yourself fall. Remember, your failures don’t define your character. In fact, they build your character. Your failures prepare you for upcoming success. Success may be close or far away - it doesn’t matter, what matters is how you feel on your way to success.

If you spend half of your life trying to succeed in misery and a half of your life enjoying the success, you lose the game. The key is to celebrate each season of your life.

Here are 6 ways to feel confident when you’re on your way to success:
1. Close your eyes and realize how far you’ve come

Drop everything, take a deep breath and realize the difference between where you are now and where you were a few years ago. You will feel a surge of gratitude when you realize all the failures eventually worked in your favor. Even when you’ve not made a lot of progress, you have grown personally, which will help you tackle the future challenges in life.

2. Live by your values to define your own success

When you know your values and live a life true to them, you stop feeling bad about your mistakes. You become the director of your life and feel aligned with every decision of your life. You feel peaceful and happy because there is no place for blames and complaints when you make value-aligned decisions. Your values act as a guide to define what success means to you.

3. Let your burning desire guide you

Although our basic needs remain the same, we all want different things in life. You must know what you desire more than anything because a burning desire can take you to the clouds even when you’re not talented or lucky. The path to your burning desire gives you meaning and fulfillment. But if you do what others expect of you, you won’t go far and you will remain unfulfilled. When you follow your desire, you make sacrifices and overcome all the obstacles with an intense drive within you.

4. Derive fulfillment from different sources

So often, we make the mistake of making our whole life about one goal. Having a laser-focus on a goal is not a bad thing, but it is always a good idea to derive meaning from different sources. When you have different ways to find fulfillment in life, you can remain focused on your bigger goals when the going gets tough. But if you quit other aspects of your life and well-being, you won’t stand the low points of your journey. You got to keep yourself sane to reach your big goals.

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” – Thomas Edison

5. Define your purpose and live it today

A lot of suffering comes from focusing too much on  yourself. Working on yourself and your goals is important, but when you have a greater purpose that shifts your focus on serving others, your drive becomes much stronger. You don’t have to wait to start serving people. You can start today with minimal resources by focusing on one person at a time. A mission bigger than yourself is the secret sauce to life fulfillment.

6. Put on blinders to run your own race

We all know that comparison is the thief of joy, yet, we compare our lives with other’s lives whether or not we realize it. The reason is that humans are wired to form social hierarchies as our ancestors did. You have to rewire your brain to compare yourself only with your past self. We never know the full story behind people’s lives, just like they don’t know ours. Own yourself and your unique challenges to write your epic life story.

Struggling and suffering are two different things. Struggling for your goals leads to success and fulfillment. While suffering is no way to live or stick to your goals. Don’t wait for big successes to feel confident. Find success in your failures until you reach your goals.

When you stop letting failures make you feel like a failure, you allow yourself to open the doors to greater success. You may have been waiting for success to feel good about yourself but you don’t have to wait anymore. Success will come when the time is right. But the time to feel confident is today.

Read more: addicted2success.com

How do you show somebody you care? In addition to being present, it’s the words you choose and the way you listen. Strengthening your communication skills gives you the opportunity to build close relationships where there is loyalty, support, and a beautiful balance of understanding. What’s more, as you understand others better, you’re able to gain insight into their reasons behind their thoughts and actions. Knowing what makes someone tick helps you predict and adapt to how he or she will react – for better or worse. Through your communication skills, you’re able to change the course of your conversations. And, by communicating well, you can improve your relationships.

Successful communicators look for patterns. Recurring themes are found when you’re reading between the lines. They know that by listening, they’ll be able to hear what is said and, also, what goes unsaid. This is because as they are listening, they are taking note as to common triggers and preparing for them. They are responding to other’s needs through their messaging and showing thoughtful consideration for their concerns.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by trying to relate better to other people, but feel like you’re not being understood or you’re not being heard, perhaps the reason lies within mutual understanding. This means that you may not be aware of something another person is feeling and by leaving this out, it is affecting your relationship. By not being relevant, your message is off the mark. It doesn’t match what matters to that person. Fortunately, there are ways to improve the way you communicate, but, in order to gain a heightened awareness of yourself and others, it does take work, and an open mind.

If you have been wondering how you can communicate better with others, these 5 skills will help you improve understanding and strengthen your relationships:

1. Framing

It’s all about the packaging! How your message is framed makes a difference when it comes to how others will respond. You’ll need to present your message in a way that is not only simple, but also clear as to what kind of response is expected. Get a feel for how others respond to similar messages beforehand so that way you can adjust if necessary. You can also help others understand your message better through visual cues and body language. Having visuals can supplement what you’re trying to convey by applying emphasis in ways that words cannot.

“All generalizations are false, including this one.” – Mark Twain

2. Mirroring

In order to understand what your audience is looking for or why they are reacting a certain way, the easiest way to investigate is through asking them. But, if you want to get a sense of what they’re thinking and feeling, a less obvious way is through mirroring. When you’re sharing a message, watch for reactions. Pay attention to visual cues and feedback.

Facial expressions and behaviors will show you whether you’re evoking any emotions. Watching for reactions will help you understand where trigger points are — whether positive or negative. Being able to figure out what’s actually reaching others gives you the ability to connect in a way that matters and you’ll know how to get a response.

You can then refine your message by adjusting your tone and the words you choose in order to provide what others are looking for. As you adjust, you’ll be able to test for reactions to see if you’re getting close. Consider why your changes are or are not working and you’ll gain a deeper understanding.

3. Functional Empathy

Empathy is the ability to see something from another person’s point-of-view and consider how they’re feeling (and why). Empathy can range from being able to feel what others feel, to understanding the reasons behind why someone feels the way they do, to relating back to others with shared experiences or thoughts. If you’re looking to communicate better, think about how others are feeling during the flow of your interaction.

By looking at where people are getting distracted or no longer engaging with you, you’ll find out what’s no longer relevant to them. This is where they stop caring. Knowing how to hold attention and avoid a drop-off is especially helpful because you can better plan your conversations, messaging and experiences.

4. Storytelling

By practicing your storytelling skills, you’re able to engage others in a way where they’re interested in hearing more. Through stories, you’re able to share anecdotes, lessons and information in a way that’s easier to connect with. It’s an excellent way to create more connection and share information that is easy-to-relate-to; not to mention, build excitement!

With so much information competing for your audience’s attention, you’ll be able to draw in and hold an audience’s attention. A compelling story can be memorable and inspire others to share their own stories. Through sharing these stories, you’ll be able to build and develop more understanding and insight into other people’s experiences.

“There is only one you for all time. Fearlessly be yourself.” – Anthony Rapp

5. Receptive Language

Take note of where the people you’re talking with are coming from. If you’re speaking about one thing, but it’s completely different from what they need, they’ll quickly check out. But by encouraging responses through selective phrasing and questions, you’ll be able to determine if you’re understanding them properly.

If they continue to stay engaged, you’re on the right track when it comes to reflecting their interests. Your language and choice in words can encourage feedback and open-ended responses. These types of responses will help you find out if your audience can relate to what you’re saying. And, using the information you gather will help you determine what resonates best. As you genuinely show you care and take interest in others, you’ll find that others appreciate your interest.

Developing these communication skills will give you the ability to better relate to others, develop more loyalty, and build stronger relationships, all while increasing internal and external awareness and uncovering underlying needs to show you care.

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If there were one big piece of advice that could change your life dramatically it would be to keep your inner circle top notch. We have all heard the saying, “Whom you hang around is who you become,” along with, “You are the average of the five people you hang around the most.” Then the question remains; “How do we pick our inner circle?” What is the process for choosing the people you want to spend the most time with?

Here are three key principles to consider when allowing others into your inner circle:
1. Loyalty

I would have to say that loyalty is a huge key factor for your inner circle. Loyalty and trust is paramount to your life overall as a matter of fact. The thing about loyalty is that it can’t be taught or bought, it is something that comes from within yourself and others.

A couple questions I ponder are “Is this a person I know I can count on? Is this a person who can be trusted to keep conversations between us? Is this a person I can count on to come to the inner circle if they have problems or do they go outside of that sacred understanding and trust?”

While there are a plenty of questions you can reflect on when determining someone’s loyalty to the inner circle, sometimes you just have to give him or her the benefit of the doubt and not judge anyone too hastily.

Life is too short to judge others when we are not perfect either. Eventually the lack of loyalty and trust ALWAYS gets exposed.

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” – Oprah Winfrey

2. Communication

Communication is crucial to the success of your inner circle. Without good, effective, and transparent communication, your inner circle will be torn apart and there will be a lack of growth. Your inner circle must be comfortable enough and trust each other enough to be open with one another. As a business coach within my mentor’s mastermind group, I have learned the importance of effective and open communication.

How can you really expect your team to grow or yourself to grow if there isn’t transparency? How can you expect you and your inner circle to grow if nobody is helping each other out? Isn’t that the goal of the inner circle; to grow and take over the world together? So if you have a strong desire to keep your inner circle on point, encourage and implement transparent and open communication.

3. Vision

I will always remember what my mentor once told me, “Without vision, the people will perish.” While this quote may come from a religious origin, we can all agree that it is true, right? Without vision, how do you expect your inner circle to grow? How do you expect to grow? To give a very blunt truth, if there is lack of vision, there is no direction or actions to even grow.

Then you must ask yourself, “Do I really want to be around others who do not have a vision for their life?” A great way to help your team grow their vision and ambition is through personal development. It could be reading books, contribution to others, and listening to audios. When you and your team work on their personal growth, you are guaranteed to see production and increase results.

“It is better to be alone than in bad company.” – George Washington

All in all ladies and gentleman, bottom line is growth. I have to admit that I have had a couple experiences where the people within my inner circle were not up to par and didn’t align with the rest of the team’s values. However, once I met my mentor, I learned from him how to build inner circles and how to vet out those that don’t align with your values.

So I encourage you all to always remember your inner circle is paramount when it comes to the growth of your business and life overall. While there may be many quality characteristics to have in your inner circle, I encourage you to always remember that your team is not a inner circle without loyalty, effective and transparent communication, and a vision for growth.

What are some qualities you look for in a friend? Let us know in the comments below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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Prosperity is your divine right. You are here on this planet, at this time, with a divine right to create every single thing you desire. This is acknowledgement of the fact that you are a divine being having a human experience.

You are here to remember, and your desires are how you begin remembering. When you stop downplaying them and start allowing them to lead you to the path you were created to play out, life will become a lot more fun than it is currently. As a spiritual person, you may have bought into the general spiritual story that it is not okay to be wealthy and spiritual but that is just the story spread by those who did not choose to stay on track to receive all their desires.

The crazy thing is that something inside of you knows that what I am saying here is true. There is a deep acknowledgement inside you that your desires are sacred. So, why not stop fighting your true design, stop calling it greedy and instead choose to live to the fullness of your ability and open up to receive all that is yours.

Here are the 2 simple keys to open up the door to more prosperity in life:
1. Affirmations

Life and death lies in the tongue. What are your words creating into your life? Most people have forgotten that they are powerful enough to say something and then see it play out in their life.  We can no longer be ‘most’ people. You have to get very conscious about the words you let out of your mouth or even that you let run free in your mind. Those words are determining what actions you allow yourself to take and therefore what results you get.

From a spiritual perspective, your words go past just you into the energy of the universe. You attract what you seem to desire and the universe can only figure that out by noticing what words seems to keep coming out of your mouth. Essentially, what seems to be the default state of your mind.

Get deliberate about the words and phrases that come from you. Be aware of what you deeply desire and write out that vision as a list of affirmations. Start with “I give thanks that…” or simply use “I am now…”. Notice if your mind sends out any resistance to what you are writing down and tweak it until it represents your desires in a way that does not cause your mind to throw up too many objections.

For instance, a goal stated as “I give thanks for my growing ability to create x amount of money each and every month” is less likely to cause a negative reaction from your mind than “I am now creating x amount of money.”

Can you see the difference? Once you have your list, repeat, repeat, repeat until they become second nature to you to say what you want, rather than joking or talking about what you do not.  GET DELIBERATE about your words.

“My life is a gift. I will use this gift with confidence, joy and exuberance.”

2. Mind Movies

Your imagination is another superpower of yours and it connects you with the Divine. Most people imagine the worst a lot of the time, therefore sending out the message they want more of the same and then wonder why their life seems to represent what they do not want. Again, we can no longer be most.

As your imagination can be used to attract in low-level situations, it can also be used to attract high vibe situations taking you where you want to go. Deliberately choose to fill your mind with visions of what you choose to create. Take a few moments every 30-90 minutes to sit in silence and imagine DELIBERATELY the life you are creating – the best case scenario.

Be the star of the show. Do the things you would be doing. Have the things you desire to have and manipulate them in your mind movie. You must get into the feeling of your vision fulfilled because it only needs 90 seconds to create an elevated and open prosperity consciousness.  

Your mind cannot tell the difference between your imagined reality and your true reality so as you deliberately do this practice, you will find you are inclined to take different actions that you may not even have thought of because your mind is seeking to resolve the disparity between what you imagine and your actual reality – It will support you in making it happen now. Try it for a period of time and see for yourself the changes that are attracted into your life.

“You create your own reality. – Jane Roberts

These two simple keys, if practised, will open you up to a lot more prosperity than you are currently experiencing. Please do realise that there is no real lack of anything in the world, there are simply people who lack consciousness. Opt out of that, and become someone who chooses to see abundance for all and then take action to make it a reality firstly for you and then for the people you choose to serve.

Always remember prosperity is your divine right. Accept nothing less.

How do you make sure you are living your best life? Let us know in the comments below!

Image courtesy of Twenty20.com

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